When children choose to disobey…

If you have children you will get this. If you don’t you probably know someone who has children and still might get this or maybe you were one of these children. I was.

Defiant – boldly resisting authority or an opposing force.

When your children choose to be defiant no matter how many times you tell them or show them how to do things the right way there comes a time when you have to step back and say, “Ok. Have it your way.” Knowing full well there will be consequences. You as the parent wishing full well they would just listen to you because you know what’s best. It’s easy for us as parents to see the painful road ahead, none the less, they are determined to do things their way. Just as we are determined to do things our way, the Lord will also say, ” Have it your way.”

I spent the better part of my adult life doing things my way. Running from the call God had on my life. Running came with a huge price. It meant broken marriages, and it cost me custody of my children. It also meant homelessness and drug addiction.

My third husband and I lived in a tent on a creek. We lived lives as out casts, broken, rejected by society, family and friends because of our addiction and criminal behavior. We burnt bridges that the only hope of restoration would have to have our Lord Jesus right in the middle of it.

As any addict, I was always running for drugs or running from the law or people I owed money to. I was mostly running from myself and all the shame and guilt. I just wanted the pain to stop. Somehow I always ran into something or someone that would remind me of the call God had on my life. The call was getting more and more difficult to run from. I knew the running was going to come to an end eventually.

When someone loves you so much, they are willing to do what ever it takes to reach you. If they can’t reach you one way they will try another way. Sometimes the consequences can be severe, but eventually the lifestyle will catch up with you. Thank God, He is God and promises to NEVER leave you or forsake you. (Deut. 31:8)

Jesus ALWAYS meets you right where you are at. Sometimes that might be in jail, in the hospital, in a drug house, even in the bathroom somewhere where you are getting high. BUT no matter where you are or what you are doing He will meet you there. I could never get high enough or run far enough to not hear God’s voice. Don’t get me wrong, I tried… I tried to the point of overdosing. (Romans 8:39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below– indeed, NOTHING in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NLT))

He would remind me that I was a child of God, that I was more than a conqueror, that he loved me so much He died for me. He waited for me patiently to come to the end of myself. I was reminded of the call that I had been running from. I was reminded of all the hurting people just like me that need to be pointed to the cross. I was reminded of how much my own children needed me.

You see, I was carrying a cross that wasn’t mine to bare. I didn’t get it. I thought I deserved to carry around shame, guilt, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, addiction, and emotional pain from childhood abuse. For a while I thought I wore a neon sign that said, “Abuse me” or “I’ve been abused so abuse me more.” I thought I deserved to be treated like Rahab (Joshua 6), the woman at the well (John 4) or Mary Magdalene(Luke 8) because I was all of them.

Then one day I saw myself in a broken heap. When I looked up there I was at the foot of the cross and there was Jesus with His arms outstretched and as He looked down at me with His ever loving eyes full of compassion. He said, “Do you want to be free?” Of course I did! He said, “Then leave those horrible things here at my feet. I have already paid the price for them.” Then He reached down and lifted me up. I said, “Lord, you know I can’t do it. I’m weak.” Then He said, ” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

As I looked at the cross, there I saw everything I had been carrying around nailed to the cross covered in His blood. I buried my face in His chest and began to weep for it was then I began to receive my healing and deliverance.

Everyday I pray and ask Jesus to allow my reflection to reveal Him, and I thank Him everyday for my freedom because the Son has set me free and I am free indeed. (John 8:36)

22 thoughts on “When children choose to disobey…

  1. Great word my sister. Keep on serving the Master, you can never go wrong.

  2. jchenwa says:

    Wow, thanks for sharing that. Really. And you write beautifully and poignantly. You should speak and write for a living. Wow.

  3. irishsignora says:

    Amen and amen. I’m glad we both accepted His offer. Here’s praying our children will accept it at a younger age than we did! — Kelly

  4. I can feel your emotions build as your story reaches its crescendo…very powerful! As a recovering pornography addict I most related to: “‘Do you want to be free?’ Of course I did!” But we don’t really want to be free unt we have reached the end of ourselves, do we? Because we think being ‘free’ of our addiction means we’ll be enslaved instead to some mean, uncaring, distant God.

    Maybe we find Him at the bottom because we see that He’s still there when everyone else has left us, and we finally start to believe, just a little bit, that He’s not who we think He is…that maybe He is who He says He in in Scripture.

  5. Vince Chough says:

    Amen to this post. Your testimony is a blessing. Only God can work this miracle to change shame and suffering into hope and joy. You are blessed and free in His love!

  6. MainWriters says:

    Enjoyed your blog!

  7. paranoid4life says:

    Just Beautiful!!!

  8. I have a blog post about running from the life our Father desires for us and eventually coming back into His arms again. Check it out and let me know what you think.
    http://becomingellipsismark.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/prodigal-yet-precious/

  9. thinspaces says:

    Thank you for sharing this part of your story. It reminds me and gives me hope that even when people we love seem beyond our grasp, they are never beyond God’s. Have a blessed day!

  10. I read this twice. I cried both times. I cried not so much for my self, but for those who hurt needlessly. I cried as I was affected by the truth of how good our God is, that He would sacrifice the “good Son” to reach the black sheep. As I read it aloud to my wife, I had to stop a couple of times. When I finished, my wife said, “That was good. That could be my life’s story.”

    The saddest thing is that so many “good” people fail to realize how sinful and depraved they actually are. Oh, they have never done drugs, abused a spouse, or stolen even a paper clip. However, all we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one unto our own way, but the Lord has laid upon Jesus the iniquity of us all (Isa 53:6). Fortunately, you could see your sin and a need for a Savior, a Redeemer. Many do not. For them I cry.

  11. jchenwa says:

    If feels bad to have been bad. But I’m noticing that the hard cases are often the ones that GOD uses to turn the hard cases. The fact that you feel sad for your past is very good. But when you have cleared it. You will have a source of power (righteousness) in Jesus that will help you help the worst of the worst. Reach the unreachable.

  12. [...] Read rest of article here Share this:TwitterEmailPrintStumbleUponDiggTumblrPinterestLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Faith and tagged Christianity, Jesus, Liberty, Religion by Talon's Point. Bookmark the permalink. [...]

  13. Debbie says:

    You are a blessing and your testimony is powerful and being used in wonderful ways! Thank you and God bless you!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s